The label on something I picked up the other day said …
TRADER JOE’S CHICKEN SALAD
48% FEWER CALORIES, 90% LESS FAT
THAN TRADER JOE’S CHICKEN SALAD
See for yourself:
I was understandably curious about a foodstuff that claims to have 48% fewer calories and 90% less fat than itself. So I opened the package, whereupon it went into an infinite feedback loop and sucked all the calories and fat out of everything in the kitchen.
I now weigh 42 pounds.
I wonder if Kirstie Alley knows about this.
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